I get so unbelievably frustrated with people.
I don't understand people. I just don't.
and basically what I don't get is how they can be so
mean and rude. Like it's some disease to them that just
fills them up, never letting it escape them.

I feel sorry for them in a way. But why should I.
I don't deserve their rudeness, their insincerity.
I should just move on. But it's so hard, it eats away
at me from time to time. Bringing old things up that hurt.
That should just go away and never come back.
Things that shouldn't be said or done.

The phrase were all human comes to mind.
But sometimes being human isn't an excuse.
You have no right of passage to be unjust in a way that
makes others feel as badly as I feel.

I'll be leaving soon, and I'll be happy to have left you.

I hate that feeling of not accomplishing something... or feeling like I'll never be able to do something in my life that I want to do so greatly. Feeling like I'm suppressed or something. Never to be able to explore. To be free. I want to be free so badly.

Get out.

Went for a run this morning..
such a good way to clear my head.

It felt so good to take in everything around me.
The sparkle of the lake,
the coldness of the morning air as I breath in and out,
the hard cement under my feet,
the smell of fresh cut grass,
the feeling of the sun starting to warm my body,
and the feeling of finishing my run after giving it my all.

How I'm feeling

in a few pictures... ;)










I'm just plain happy with life. ♥

Goodness...

Alright soooo, today was good. Unitl it became more towards the evening.
Ugh tonight was rough. Don't ask me why...but it was. :/
and it sucks right now. :/
Ugh just make these stupid feelings go away. That'd be great. Kthanks.

I just need to keep busy some more and get my mind off it all.
Luckily I have have work tomorrow. :)

Anyways...

School was good. I like all my classes. :)
Speech is... interesting. The teacher is a little hardcore. haha.
but that's okay, I'll learn more that way. :)

I really want to just pack up and move away from here.
Start somewhere new, meet new people. I don't know.
I'm just dreaming of course. If only I had enough money.. I totally would.





I'd move somewhere else, maybe tropical.. meet a cute cabana boy.
You know..
Or my life long dream. Visit Italy and have some foreign hunk sweep me away on his cute little vespa. Oh yess yess yess. That sounds soo good right about now. I wish I could go there sooo bad. I'd totally live there too. That'd make my life. haha.



Christiano Ronaldo:



YOU can be my cabana boy any day. hahahahaha. Seriously.
God he is so hott. Like if he were standing in front of me right now, my eyes would probably be burning. ;) anddd he plays soccer. whew.

Break me off a piece of that. ;)

Ugh just anything to get out of here. I'll be sending an S.O.S.
except you'll just be saving one soul. So it should say something like S.M.S. Save my soul. Hahahaha... oh puuuhhhlease. Do dreams ever really come true.





mmm nope. not in my reality. but we'll see I guess.
Every cloud does have a silver lining. ;)
♥

Oh my..

I'm tired of feelings.. I want them to go away now.
That'd be lovely.
I wish things were different.
I wish they'd go back to normal.



My heart feels a little torn up, not going to lie.
Hopefully in time it'll mend back together.
That's all I can hope for.
♥
and all I really have is:

Hmm...

So lately I've been feeling a little excluded. Not only from other peoples plans, but from life. I don't know what it is that's putting me in this mood. But it's been carrying on for quite sometime. I feel like it just may be winter again creeping into my head and deciding to start to snow. But I am really looking forward to spring and summer.






I feel like I just need out of my box I've been in, but I can't seem to get out. I need sunshine and light, I've been cooped up in the dark for way more than I'd like.



I feel like....

1. Going on a bikeride.




2. Going for a hike.





3. Playing soccer.



4. Basking in the sunshine like a flower.



5. Having a picnic.




6. Going swimming.




7. A camping adventure.




8. Blowing bubbles.




9. A beach trip.




and lastly...

10. A vacation, with this cute boy. ♥




♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥


Oh it all sounds so much fun right about now.
:) I cannot wait to see what summer brings. I mean I can't wait for spring either. But still.. ;)