The Future:

Lately I feel like I've been thinking alot about the future... I have so many dreams and aspirations in life and believe personally I've accomplished alot for someone such as myself. I've tried so hard, gave it my all, and don't plan in any way to give up. Because I have so much time ahead of me. I mean I'm only 22...

I really look forward to moving to Portland with my very good friend Tess. To go to school finally at a university rather than a community college will be a awesome step in my life. And to finally move out of my parents house will solidify finally being independent for me. I look forward to this day that's just around the corner so much.

I'm going to miss my family, Eugene, friends, and the many places the city and country here has to offer me. But to a bigger city with so much opportunity for me will be an amazing thing for me to finally conquer. I have so many plans for myself while I'm in Portland. Finally obtaining my Bachelors Degree is on the top of the list, as well as networking with the many amazing photographers and models that reside in Portland, and even possibly changing or adding an agency if its possible.

We shall see.

Oh the places I shall go, and the things that I shall do.

I cannot wait, I'm beyond excited for this adventure and new chapter to start.

Ok so.

You know what..you can just stop being insecure about yourself and live your life to the fullest. Don't drag the past into the future. The past is the past that's why we call it the past. It's silly to me how some people can go on with their lives being insecure and feeble about themselves. Grow up, be strong, be the person your meant to be. Own the world don't let the world try and own you. You can't go on acting as though past events will somehow ruin your future. If you start a new and just turn that page in your book of life, you'll feel so much better. Like a million dollars pratically. So take a breath, and just do it. It's time to start a new chapter and leave out all the rest.

Well..

Yes, yes it is.
Therefore there is no point on dwelling in the past.
Sometimes things happen in life under circumstances where your unsure what they were and why they happened. But you know...you can't go back and change what's happened. Nothing can be undone in life. So you must just move forward, and look past the little things that are upsetting, and look for the things in life that give you a optimistic attitude.

Just get over the things that pull you down.
Just let them go.
Because it's a new day.


& there is no point dwelling on the past.

Lately;

everything has been well with me.
which is deffinetly a good thing.
Here is a list of things that have
put me in the best of moods;

getting my hair cut (finally)
painting my nails
friends visiting me at work
working (earning money)
sleeping in
nice text messages
the three word phrase: i love you
keeping up on things
new music
compliments
modeling
christmas

!!!!!

^^^
I feel like that alot latey.
hehe. and like this too: ♥
I love my family, and my friends.
I'm so entirely greatful for them.

They own my:

On a positive note.

This song is perfect right now. :)
it's on repeat.
Just to let you know. ♥

"You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now


But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet

But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will


Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you're made of, you're made of

But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will


One day you will
Oh one day you will "

Today.

Today was hard. Not going to lie, I cried.
It was nice to see some of your family today
and be acknowledged and hugged. :)
I miss them ♥ Well happy birthday to you,
hope you get everything you ever wanted.







but it was also nice to get away from you.
work was super boring..lol. anddd it was wonderful to
see a special girl named Jenn! :) She made my night.
Alice in Wonderland was quite wonderful I liked it alot!
I thought it was missing a few things though, but it was
still really good! Hash browns at like 11:00 at night are
pretty good too, and talking the night away is always nice. ♥

I like keeping busy, like a bee. ;)





I'm feeling pretty positive right now. lol. Like a plus sign,
hehe, I guess that's a good thing. I feel like talking with people allows me to open
up, therefore getting a more positive outlook on life and events. :) It's good.
I like catching up. I miss seeing people I havn't seen in a long time. It's always
good to catch up and then hopefully hangout more! Because I'd love too. :)

Oh you...

Oh I miss him, I always miss him. :) haha.



I just wish he were here to snuggle with. I miss that. I feel like it's been a lifetime. I wish people could teleport. That'd make my entire life. :)



I'm smiling just thinking about him.
I get butterflies just thinking about time we've spent together. ♥
it's ridiculous...



:)
but I love it.
hehe.

......................................................................................................


So! I'm super doooper excited to give him his birthday pressie. I really hope he likes it. :) But some boy told me that a guy could get a kiss for his birthday and love it. I don't know if I agree with that, but sometimes the littlest things actually mean the most.. :) Which is entirely cute and all, but I want to do something fun too hehe. I can't wait to tell him, it's so tough to keep my mouth closed. I've been really thinking about what to do and I've had so many ideas, but the one I picked, I think, will be the funnest and I'll really enjoy it too. :) I mean I've never gotten a chance to before so it should be fun for the both of us. Not to give any hints or anything ;) Haha. But seriously.. I cannot believe that he's going to be twenty one. It seems like life has just flown by, I mean I'll be twenty in may but still. I just find it super crazzzzy. I'm a little worried.



I really do....

It's a problem. I should probably stop while I'm ahead. But there are just all these things just floating around in my little head. It's really no good at all. But I feel like I should stop looking for the worst in things, I find myself doing that alot lately, I have absolutely no idea why either.





But I need to just clear my head and start all fresh and squeaky clean. and not worry about stuff so much.. I feel like I'm turning into my dad lately, he seems to always find the negative and not even look at the possibility of the positive. So starting this moment I'm going to seek out the things that are positive and make ME smiiiiileee.




your beyond amazing. ♥